Wednesday, June 08, 2005

When it was all new...

Last night got me reminiscing... and how things have changed in my life in just over a year... how responsibilities have increased and how I can no longer have a 'devil-may-care' attitude. But first, the reason for the reminiscing...
One of my neighbours and a close family friends' daughter recently got married and was on her way to her honeymoon. Tosh and I offered to be their hosts and chaperones for the evening and so it was... they came over, had dinner, we chatted till about 2 before we finally dropped them to the airport. They must have been over for about 5-6 hours and looked totally smitten! Cute. But it got me wondering how I missed that first week of being married... when everything was new and exciting (not that it isn't anymore, but you get the drift) and anything we did was news (within family circles, thankfully!).
It's a bit like when you start seeing someone and then over time, get used to that person and eventually, take him/her for granted. Maybe not for granted, but at least expect them to do certain things and behave or be in a certain way... they become part and parcel so much so that they are always around. Not a bad situation to be in at all, but what happened to that excitement?
Even today, when Tosh and I see each other after work, we are excited... what can we do? Where can we go? Even if we (actually, it's almost always her) are cooking, there's an element of excitement... but I still miss that first week (or two) of being married. Wish I could have it back...
This thought transported me back to my childhood when everything was always new... nothing (not even school) was mundane or boring (well, almost!). Friends, new stuff happening... crazy time. Will I get that back? Maybe when my kids start going to school.
*I'm straying from the point and have also forgotten what I started to write about!*
But am I saying I'm not enjoying my life? Hardly. I love my job, love my wife, my home my friends, family (not necessarily in that order) but I have this feeling that sometimes takes over me that I can do more... more what? Work? Maybe... spend more time with Tosha? Yes.... Spend more time at home with parents? Yes... but I've done all that and that feeling still doesn't go away.
Was it the same when it was all new? No, I didn't have time to think so much then... life was on autopilot... now I have to steer it. Much like the protagonists in Richard Bach's One. Does this mean I can any of the courses available to me and steer my life in that direction? Am I already doing that? Even if there is a certain routine in my life? Was I choosing a path when I got married? Yes, obviously... but what about the rest of the questions? Any answers?
That's why I want the time when it was all new... I didn't have to think of all this at least.

posted by Scribbler @ 5:41 am

My Photo
Location: Pune, Maharashtra, India

I'm a photographer, writer, geek and sports fan!

Powered by Blogger

Design by Beccary
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from Scribbler-A. Make your own badge here.

Get Firefox!